Results: "Don't Speak Ill Of The Dead"...Is That Always The Case?

Amanda Denis's obituary to her father last month received a lot of attention, and raised a lot of questions. It began, "I am pleased to announce the passing of Stefan Harold Kandulski." It picked up speed from there, first in the writing — "the abusive, narcissistic absentee father/husband/brother/son finally kicked the bucket" — and then with many either calling her out for disrespecting the dead or those cheering her on and spilling their own stories. Do you think that obituaries, or eulogies should "never speak ill of the dead"?

Denis is a real estate agent just outside of Sudbury, Ont., and is happily married with three children her father never met. "If more people talked about what was going on instead of what we're going to wear to work we'd all be a lot better off." She mentions how her mother, a fragile woman, was bullied and abused by her husband for years. When he finally left her, Denis's brother tried to keep in touch with the father, trying to understand why he did the things he did, who then verbally abused him. Both her mother and her brother died young, and Denis is sure this was directly because of her abusive father. Do you feel some people should never be given a second (third, fourth, etc) chance?

Her obituary warmly thanks the staff at the seniors home who cared for her father, and ends with a call, in lieu of flowers or donations, for kindness: "Spread light and love where you can and do with your life what this man clearly lacked the ability to do." Do you agree with what she is asking for?

Have you ever talked ill of someone who died in their obituary, at their funeral or in person to their family?