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This is a second survey trip back in time. My wife is in hospital right now and I have demands on my time, decisions to make, emotions to suppress, that make me wish for the life we used to have in survey #1.

Published on 02/02/2025

By: DavKar

512

Love & Relationships

Having been married for 54 years and with my wife (and best friend) at the mercy of the staff in the hospital our city calls "The Misery," I have too much time to reflect on our lives. Looking forward is into the unknown, so I am looking back to things we experienced before and during our marriage. Not all of them were "good times" but they were the cards we were dealt and we made the best of them. Our generation seemed to have fewer complaints that we see these days. Here are some fond memories.

1. Here are 3 things from the past that make me nostalgic. Which of these do you miss and wish we could still have?

Kids doing chores for neighbors with or without parental involvement or for money. We knew our neighbors and did things for the ones we liked.

In Scotland it was common for parents with children and a car to take other kids from hospitals and orphanages to the beach or lake or similar and then back to our homes for an evening meal. These days there would be insurance issues to prevent it and they would instead have a special bus (with a decal on it that said "disabled transport system") and staff do this in a less personal way and at considerable cost.

Baseball double headers where we could take time off from work and the kids out of school to watch an afternoon game. Was that an American thing or did it happen in Canada as well (no equivalent in the UK). Comments?

Other (please specify)

Not Applicable

2. Here are three more that you might miss. Do you?

Paper routes. My left shoulder is lower than the right one because of the weight of those newspapers I delivered in the UK. North American kids had much heavier newspapers and all those flyers to drop off. I don't envy the latter group. It was a good thing to do however.

Almost every night we had a family evening meal. We were expected to be able to discuss what we learned in school that day. Parents talked about parenting and community stuff and the kids were expected to be quiet while they did it. (With no elbows on the table).

Sunday dinner. Similar to the one above but the kids could interject more. Vacations were planned, relatives were invited, religion might be a factor but not politics (that was for adults).

Other (please specify)

Not Applicable

3. Three more. Which do you miss?

Parents helping the kids with homework before supper. These days there is no homework, the parents don't/can't take the time and dinner is on the run (one parents coming home from work as the other one is heading out.) If there is homework it might get done at breakfast.

I sometimes did this reluctantly. Kids visiting relatives using public transit. It kept the family connected (and increased birthday and Christmas gifts). Some relatives died off and were really missed that today might be lonely and forgotten. I still remember my Aunt Molly and her moth ball perfume. The kids might have a list of questions to ask, answers to remember and a report to give when they got back.

Having three sets of clothes. School clothes (quite often a school uniform), play clothes you got into immediately you got home from school, and your Sunday Best. Monday was washing day (you didn't wash clothes every day).

Other (please specify)

Not Applicable

4. The final 3 for today. Which do you miss?

The household was managed with set routines and responsibilities that different family members were responsible for. Mom ran the house, dad didn't have a clue what was involved but brought in the money to pay for it. Both parents were happy in their roles. The kids had assigned duties and their pocket money was contingent on the amount and quality of their work. Relatives were not allowed to spoil the kids or give them money without the parent's OK.

N / A

Late night shopping was on one night per week. Forget about Sunday shopping. Shoppers were expected to plan when they were going to shop based on when the store decided to open and 24 hour shopping would have been banned.

Stores and banks closed for lunch so nobody expected to shop or bank during that time. People would "pop out to the bank" and bosses allowed them to. That was when everyone else stopped for lunch and a full hour to have it. Lunch was called dinner and was the main meal for many people (the dinner hour). The evening meal might be smaller and called "supper".

Other (please specify)

Not Applicable

N / A

5. I just thought of three more - but that's it for today(I promise). Which would you like a return to?

Those who worked in an office environment wore business clothes especially women. These clothes helped women be seen as employees (or bosses) rather than sex objects. The clothes were designed to not be noticed. Night clothes were for a night on the town and were never worn to work. No cleavage, much less leg, and a jacket hiding other parts. If guys were going to be jerks to women in the workplace, at least they couldn't say they were "invited".

No swearing in public, especially by women and never in "mixed company".

Privacy was expected unless you were a celebrity with a press agent. There was a distinct need to know. Sure there was gossip and tittle tattle but we knew what this was and didn't expect the media news to be just as inaccurate or biased. The concept of something like Facebook didn't exist. The public did not have a "need to know"

Other (please specify)

Not Applicable

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